If there is any Catholic teaching that is not understood by most people, it is the Church's teaching on annulments. This couple cannot get married in the Church unless she seeks to have that marriage declared null and void - an annulment. Catholics are bound to the Catholic form of marriage. That means: the marriage must be witnessed by a priest or deacon and 2 witnesses. People of other religions (or no religion) who marry within their own tradition are considered validly married  and many Protestant denominations do not require Church weddings. The Catholic Church recognizes the first marriage of non-Catholic people among themselves to be a valid marriage. For a divorced non-Catholic to marry a Catholic, that person must seek an annulment through the Catholic Church marriage tribunal.

    If a wedding takes place, the presumption is that the marriage is valid. Marriage is permanent - "until death us do part." The indissolubility of sacramental marriage remains a central Catholic teaching. While carefully protecting Jesus' teaching on the sacredness of marriage, the Church is also obliged to provide justice for anyone whose marriage has failed when it can be shown with moral certainty that the marriage lacked from the outset some essential characteristic element for a true sacramental bond. Please note from the underlined phrases that this is very carefully nuanced. The annulment procedure is an attempt to bring justice and compassion to many divorced or separated Catholics whose marriage was one in appearance only. The essential requirement of marriage consists in the CONSENT of the husband and wife - and their ability to make a valid consent. If something is lacking in the ability to give consent, then there is no valid marriage. Example: immaturity, alcoholism, drug abuse, wife/husband abuse, promiscuity, refusal to have children are obvious situations which would limit someone's ability to make a valid consent.

    Annulment is not "divorce - Catholic style." You often hear this catchy statement. But it simply is not true. Technically, a divorce ends a valid marriage, which for any number of reasons has died. The Catholic Church does not have divorce. A declaration of nullity is a judgment by the Church that what seemed - outwardly - to be a marriage was in fact never a true sacramental marriage. A declaration of nullity is granted when it can be shown that some essential defect made a particular marriage invalid from the beginning, despite outward appearances, despite even the good faith of the partners or the establishment of a family. It is often thought that an annulment declares the children of such a situation illegitimate - IT DOES NOT. Nor does a declaration of nullity say that there was no relationship there; nor does it negate the good efforts of the people who were trying to lead a good life. It says simply that a SACRAMENTAL BOND did not exist.

     Why is the Church granting more annulments now? Several factors have brought about the considerable increase of annulments over the past 20 years. First and foremost, the Second Vatican Council advanced the theology of marriage by emphasizing the relational nature of marriage. A deep interpersonal relationship of the spouses IS what marriage is all about. Marriage is about the "two becoming one." Marriage is "a communion of life"and maintains indissolubility, even when offspring are lacking. The Council returned to the biblical idea of marriage as a covenant. Previous Church documentation spoke about marriage as a legal contract giving certain rights to the spouses. Our catechism days taught us older folks that marriage is a contract whereby a man and a woman pledge themselves exclusively and perpetually to one another, bestowing the mutual right and duty of sexual intercourse. The primary purpose of marriage was said to be the procreation and raising of children, and that the secondary aims included mutual affection and support of the spouses, as well as the satisfaction of sexual desire.

    Also, advances in psychology have provided a deeper understanding of human behavior and its complexity. Thus, the Church - and society - has new insights for appraising a marriage. These give us new "tools" to help people that are hurting. It enables the Church tribunals to help decide whether someone's consent is freely and knowingly a "yes" to all that marriage  involves. This is the key issue. When a couple said their vows, did both partners freely accept and clearly understand the lifelong commitment they were making? Consent to marriage is the most important commitment that many people ever make. Consent must be free and discerning. External or internal pressure lessens the freedom one has to make an informed decision. The "shotgun" marriage is an outdated joke. Yet more subtle pressures may interfere with freedom and discemment just as effectively. Take, for example, the couple who have been intimate and now the woman is pregnant. She rightly refuses abortion and does not want to give the child up for adoption. The father feels trapped. He may have fine intentions, feeling honor-bound to "do the right thing." One or both may see marriage as the only way out. Is this decision a free, mature choice of a lifetime partner, or is it a pressured solution to a major problem?

    And secondly, did both partners actually have the personal capacity to carry out consent, to form a community of life with the chosen partner. This is much different from wanting. I may want to be a pilot of a 747 but do I have the ability to do it? What about the ability of the 19 year old to consent, overwhelmed by infatuation with the only person ever dated, more in love with love than the person he or she consents to marry? Add to the picture, perhaps, the desperate need to escape an unhappy home life, marred by alcoholism or quarrels? How would we assess the widower, still grieving for his deceased wife? He has a demanding job and is anxious for his young children, so he hastily remarries. Is he able to give a prudent thoughtful consent or is he unconsciously looking for a housekeeper and stepmother for his children? What sort of consent is given by the lukewarm Catholic who has absorbed the divorce mentality of society which pervades American culture and the philosophy of casual sex which is accepted daily TV fare? There is no automatic answer to the quality of consent in each of these very real situations. But the average adult Catholic would question the wisdom of such marriages. A thorough investigation by the tribunal of the marriage situation may support the conclusion that one or both partners could not freely and maturely choose to marry at that time.

     The essence of marriage is a community of conjugal life which is perpetual and exclusive. Thus, people contemplating marriage must have the maturity to establish and maintain a mutually supportive relationship with one another. Saying "yes" without the ability to carry it out is invalid, even though a person takes marriage vows in good faith and with the best intentions. Many people assume sin on the part of persons seeking annulments. Very definitely, this is NOT the case. There is a big difference between a sin and a mistake. Before modern psychology gave us a better understanding of human behavior, the average person and the Church thought that everyone had what it takes to make a marriage work - except for the most overtly disturbed individuals.

    The ability to have a communal relationship (a valid marriage) does not mean that the marriage must be idyllic. Any two people, even lifelong friends, have incompatibilities to work through. Few persons are so mature that they have no failings, foibles or hangups. But the basically mature person tries to be honest with self, admit mistakes and be open to advice and grace. But in some persons, psychological problems are the overbearing, consuming, motivating force of life. It is most unlikely that such a person could establish and maintain the close cherishing relationship with a spouse which provides for the mutual growth and proper rearing of children. For some time, psychologists have recognized that psychoses, like schizophrenia and manic depression, could so impair mental and emotional stability that one's consent to marriage lacked necessary discernment. More recently, the Church acknowledges that other dysfunctions of personality day render a particular marriage covenant impossible. But it is impossible to make general statements because human psychology is so complex.That is why the Church needs a thorough investigation of each annulment case. The marriage tribunals do not seek to assign blame for marriage breakup. They seek only to understand a failed marriage, and determine whether either or both partners lack proper consent or the ability to carry out consent.

    Many persons resist going through the annulment process fear dredging up the past. However, it is healing and helpful to discover some meaning in the tragedy of a broken marriage. They often gain new insights about themselves and deepen their sense of values. They find it a growth experience - and realize how immature they were "way back then."

One of the most misunderstood aspects of the Church's annulment process is COST. I have heard: "You have to pay $10,000 and wait a year and then you get your annulment." Not true on the $ 1 0,000 but very often true on the waiting time. In fact, there is no charge if the annulment is not granted. Most priests can tell you when they hear the circumstances if there is a good chance of the annulment being granted. In the diocese of Lansing, the suggested fee is $200 - but that is waived if there is a hardship. Most dioceses have similar arrangements. Ability to pay does not speed up or slow down the annulment process. In the diocese of Lansing, the average waiting time is about a year - due to the fact that the diocese is 10 counties and has one tribunal and some 300 annulments are processed each year. (I have seen annulments granted in under 6 months.) In the Toledo diocese (next door to us and some 19 counties), the average waiting time is slightly longer - about 14 months. By the way, the fees do not pay most of the priests on the tribunal but go for salaries for secretaries and other staff. Most of the priests who are tribunal judges are pastors of parishes and do tribunal work gratis.

    Will my ex-spouse be informed of the process? Yes. The ex-spouse is notified by registered letter that a Church process is about to take place and invited to fill out a questionnaire similar to the one you are asked to fill out. Normally, the ex-spouse chooses not to respond. The tribunal process is internal to the Catholic Church only and has no standing in civil law or civil court.

    Suppose my ex-spouse fights the process? Normally they don't - especially if the marriage has been over for a fair number of years. Usually if someone fights the process, they don't understand what an annulment is or they simply want to add grief to you. If that is the case, the tribunal and the priest who helps you have enough experience to know that and to take that into consideration.

    It is important to contact a priest who can answer specific questions about your particular situation. Sometimes, we put off going to the doctor or the dentist  or the priest only to find out that it was not as serious or as difficult as we thought!